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The Superpower You’re Ignoring – Emotional Intelligence
- Theron Feidt & Mark Cardone
- 8 hours ago
- 3 min read
Episode Summary: Is emotional intelligence the ultimate superpower? In this episode, we dive into how mastering your emotions can improve every relationship and professional interaction you have. We discuss why reacting instantly is almost always a mistake and share a 3-step action plan to help you control your impulses, understand your own feelings, and become a master communicator. Learn how to use the "Six-Second Rule," the power of a "Draft Folder Policy," and how to truly listen without just waiting for your turn to speak.
Key Takeaways & Action Steps:
· Why EQ Matters: Emotional intelligence isn't just about being "nice." It is about effectiveness. Dealing with humans requires a skill set that goes beyond logic.
· Step 1: Master the Gap:
o The Six-Second Rule: Anger causes a chemical flush in the brain that lasts about six seconds. If you can pause for just that long (drink water, take a breath), you can regain control.
o The Draft Folder Policy: Never send an angry email or text immediately. Write it, save it, and sleep on it. You will almost always edit or delete it the next day.
o Control the Space: You can't control the delayed flight, but you can control your reaction. "If the flight is delayed, there is something wrong with the plane, the pilot, or the weather—and you don't want to be on it anyway."
· Step 2: Name it to Tame it:
o Engage Logic: When you specifically name an emotion (e.g., "I feel disrespected" instead of just "I'm mad"), your brain shifts from the emotional center to the logic center, instantly lowering stress.
o Separate Self from Feeling: Stop saying "I am angry." Start saying "I am experiencing anger." You are not the emotion; you are the vessel experiencing it.
· Step 3: The Listener's Lens:
o Stop Reloading: Most people aren't listening; they are just waiting for their turn to talk. Stop reloading your next argument and actually hear what is being said.
o The Looping Technique: Before you respond, summarize what the other person said ("So what I hear you saying is..."). This validates them and clarifies any misunderstandings before they blow up.
o Validate to Influence: You don't have to agree with someone to validate their feelings ("That sounds frustrating"). Connection precedes influence.
Quotes from the Episode:
· "Anger causes a chemical flush in your brain that lasts about six seconds. If you can pause, you win."
· "Stop reloading. Stop waiting for your turn to speak and actually listen."
· "You can't fire a behavior, but you can change it. Name it to tame it."
· "If you only have short-term friends, look in the mirror. You might be the problem."
Action Plan:
1. Practice the 6-Second Pause: Next time you feel triggered, count to six before doing anything.
2. Use the "Draft" Rule: Commit to waiting 24 hours before sending any difficult communication.
3. Try "Looping": In your next conversation, repeat back what you heard before you offer your opinion.
ARN Suggested Reading:
Blessings In the Bullshit: A Guided Journal for Finding the BEST In Every Day – by Mark Cardone & Theron Feidt
Full List of Recommended Books: https://www.achieveresultsnow.com/readers-are-leaders
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